I've recently finished a novel and am currently working on a second draft, but I would very much like some constructive criticism to make it better. I'm chapter-by-chapter adding the second draft onto figment.com, and you don't need to sign up to read it.

[figment.com]

I've only got six chapters up right now, but I'm hoping to upload more every day. As I said, I welcome all constructive criticism, so tear it apart if needs be.




A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people- Thomas Mann




My writing blog: [aspiringpen.blogspot.com]

I don't have a lot of time to read it today, though I might in the future, but I was really impressed. Excellent dialog especially.
My one suggestion -- the little boy who's drawing? I have an eight year old brother. And they don't speak nearly that politely or elequently. :)

Oh, you mean Greg? Thanks for the tip. I'll keep an eye on his dialog when he shows up again later. :)




A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people- Thomas Mann




My writing blog: [aspiringpen.blogspot.com]

I am currently interested but I might not have time. Remind me later?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A word is not the same with one writer as with another. One tears it from his guts. The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket.
~Charles Peguy

Sure, Kitti! I'll probably post a reminder when I finish the second draft (which admittedly may be a while).





A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people- Thomas Mann




My writing blog: [aspiringpen.blogspot.com]

I'm about halfway through the novel at this point. I've got 33 chapters up so far.





A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people- Thomas Mann




My writing blog: [aspiringpen.blogspot.com]

I've uploaded all of the current draft onto figment. As I said, I'm looking for honest constructive criticism.






A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people- Thomas Mann




My writing blog: [aspiringpen.blogspot.com]

I'm going to start reading it on Monday, but I'll need to chew it over in my head for a few days before I'll be able to give you any crit. The reason it will take that long is that I'll be writing down my initial impressions, which tend toward the general, but IIRC(?) you do better with specifics, so it's going to take me longer to figure out how to put my crit in terms we can both understand. It will be easier for me to do that if we can get on the same page (so to speak) in terms of plot. With that in mind, do you have an outline I could look at?

Also: I'm going to give my crit privately. Would you prefer email or pm on here? I would prefer pm because email is overwhelming for me, which leads to procrastination, but if you have a strong preference let me know and we can work something out.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A word is not the same with one writer as with another. One tears it from his guts. The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket.
~Charles Peguy

What kind of outline are you looking for?

If PM works better for you, we can do it that way. Whichever works best for you.





A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people- Thomas Mann




My writing blog: [aspiringpen.blogspot.com]

What kind of outline do you have?

Also, I must apologize: I didn't get to read any yesterday because I was blindsided by the worst migraine I've ever had. I had to put thick blankets in my windows, stick a heating pad over my face, and use an Imitrex injection. When it started working I almost threw up and wanted to claw my eyes out. It was horrific. (I'm much better now.)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A word is not the same with one writer as with another. One tears it from his guts. The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket.
~Charles Peguy