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Re: Weekly writers challenge
Posted by: Faerie Watcher (IP Logged)
Date: July 24, 2011 09:23PM

So, do you mean take a fairy tale and give it more of a modern twist/ feel?





A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people- Thomas Mann




My writing blog: [aspiringpen.blogspot.com]

Re: Weekly writers challenge
Posted by: The Traveler (IP Logged)
Date: July 26, 2011 10:48AM

Not necessarilly in setting or anything, say, like "Beastly," but with that modern tone of a novel. You know, less
"once upon a time there lived an old king"
and more
"Old King Leo glared at the ragged juggler in front of him. "What is your business here?" he demanded in a nearly draconic roar"
Does that make sense? you can change the story if you like, say have the Princess rescue the enchanted Prince or whatever, but it must be recognizable as a fairy tale.

Re: Weekly writers challenge
Posted by: Galadriel II (IP Logged)
Date: July 27, 2011 05:29PM

Hey, I just did one of these. Maybe I'll reuse it



President and Founder of Twilight is Overrated Club
The Traveler as Vice President
Current Members: Galadriel, Trav,Eberwolf, Aljeron12, Sulmandir, vareth in silico
Purl, LovelornLark, Mindarin, Anna-Light Warrior, Caeli

There are three rules of writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
— W. Somerset Maugham

Re: Weekly writers challenge
Posted by: Isi (IP Logged)
Date: July 28, 2011 01:02PM

This is pretty much EVERYTHING I WRITE. I'm very inclined to just post something I already have...

Re: Weekly writers challenge
Posted by: Faerie Watcher (IP Logged)
Date: July 28, 2011 01:47PM

Here's mine:


Aphrodite shivered as she swam into the dark cave. The water here was colder, as it was untouched by the sun above. She turned a corner and nearly bumped into the woman who was waiting for her. She had white hair tinged with black, thick dark eyebrows, and pale skin.
“Greetings, Aphrodite,” the woman said.
Aphrodite was too frightened to speak.
“I know you are seeking me. I am Styx, the enchantress, prophetess, seer, and magician.”
“Um… yes. I need your help.”
Styx turned and began slowly swimming even further into the dark cave, which was dimly lit by small lanterns. “You want to impersonate your sister Juno because King Ares is sending you to the surface to become the bride of Prince Nathaniel.”
“How do you know that?”
“You forget who I am.” Styx stopped at a round table covered with kelp and bottles made of stone and coral. “I know more than people give me credit for. Now, go. I will not help you.”
“What!” Aphrodite exclaimed. “Why not? Look, this is important to me and my family. If I don’t go to the surface, then my family will be sent to the debtors’ prison and will lose its title.”
“You’ve already lost your wealth, both financial and moral,” Styx answered. “Your father’s parents were both good people of excellent caliber. Your family’s line has fallen far.”
“Spare me the moral lesson,” Aphrodite snapped. “Will you help me? Please?”
“And why should I? Ares is a scheming pig, and I refused to aid his political schemes. Which is why I am here and not in the palace.”
Aphrodite pulled out a kelp bag and jiggled it. “The king will pay you this if you help me.”
Styx laughed. “That is from your family’s personal finances, not the king’s. You are horrendous at bluffing, Aphrodite.”
“Please,” Aphrodite begged. “If you don’t help me, I’ll tell the king you hurt me, and I’ll have him arrest you forever.”
Styx slowly blinked her black eyes. “Very well,” she said. “I will make you a bargain, Aphrodite, since you are so persistent.” She picked up a bottle from the table and handed it to her. “Drink this right before you go to the surface. You’ll be a perfect replica of your sister.”
“This will make me ugly?” Aphrodite shrieked.
Styx’s mouth twitched. “The human prince could not see your sister clearly when she saved him. You will have your sister’s voice, nothing more. Though I suggest that if you truly want to imitate your sister, you better learn to be more selfless and unworldly than she.”
Aphrodite scoffed and snatched the bottle away from Styx. “Thank you.”
“I was not finished,” Styx said. “You have one month from your arrival to the surface.”
“One month?”
“To make Nathaniel fall in love with you as he has fallen for your younger sister.”
“Easy,” Aphrodite answered. “I’ll have him around my finger in a week.”
“And if you fail, then you belong to me.”
“Belong to you?”
“Yes, Aphrodite. That potion is hard to make, and I am still not interested in helping you or Ares. Make Nathaniel fall for you, and you will stay with him forever. But, if not, then you will be my slave until the day you die.”
“Sounds simple enough,” Aphrodite replied. “Well, I must be on my way. I’ve got a royal party to attend tonight. Wish me luck, Witch.”
As soon as Aphrodite was out of sight, a slow smile crept onto Styx’s face. “Not luck,” she said. “I wish you utter failure.”







A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people- Thomas Mann




My writing blog: [aspiringpen.blogspot.com]

Re: Weekly writers challenge
Posted by: The Traveler (IP Logged)
Date: July 28, 2011 09:46PM

Wow...I really really like that. Is it the Little Mermaid? The Greek names threw me off...Really good, Faery!

Re: Weekly writers challenge
Posted by: Faerie Watcher (IP Logged)
Date: July 28, 2011 09:48PM

Yes, it's "Little Mermaid." Thanks, Trav!





A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people- Thomas Mann




My writing blog: [aspiringpen.blogspot.com]

Re: Weekly writers challenge
Posted by: The Traveler (IP Logged)
Date: July 28, 2011 09:52PM

Ok, here's mine. I wrote it a year or so ago, but I really like it still. Sorry it's kinda long.


Ellen sat at her bureau, tears streaking her dust-blackened cheeks. Her ball gown lay over the back of a nearby chair, coated grayly, and Ellen’s current garb—an everyday dress that had once been pearly-pink—was dingy and filthy. The younger girl was sobbing broken-heartedly as she stared into the mirror above the bureau.

“What happened?” Martha asked.

“I was cold,” Ellen wept. “So I asked Prudence to light the fire.”

Oh-no, Martha thought intuitively. Prue was a darling, but she couldn’t light a fire to save her life. “She didn’t open the flue, did she.” It wasn’t a question.

“Exactly!” Ellen wailed. “She lit the fire and smoke started coming in—so she opened the flue and a big gust of wind came in. Poof!” she threw her hands in the air dramatically, and broke into fresh sobs.

Martha looked around the room in dismay. “You mean…this is all ash?” It would take months to clean!

“Yes!” cried the distraught girl. “And now my gown is ruined!”

“Ellen, you need to get down—what is going on here?!?” Mrs. Merrill shrieked, stepping into the ash-coated room.

Ellen only wept harder, leaving Martha to answer.

“Apparently, there’s been an accident…” she began; but Mrs. Merrill didn’t stop to listen.

“No matter—Ellen, if you want to marry that prince of yours, you’d better get downstairs this instant.”

“But, Mother…”

“Don’t argue with me, young lady,” the matron said firmly. “This was your idea, and you are going to go through with it.” Turning to Martha, she added “Martha, go down and buy us some time. Serve them tea; ask about their health—insist on trying on that trice-blasted shoe if you must, but for heaven’s sake do something.”

Martha hurried out, and left the two schemers to their own devices. “Prue!” she called, as she entered the hall. “Prue, I need you!”
Her sister appeared in the doorway of a nearby room, her face worried and upset.

Smiling reassuringly, Martha took hold of her sister’s arm. “Come on,” she said. “We have some socializing to do.”

The hastened down to the parlor, where the prince and his party were getting impatient.

“Is there a problem?” the fine-looking herald asked, standing as the girls entered.

“Oh, not at all,” Martha assured him, smiling brightly and surreptitiously checking her fingers for ash. “We’re ready to try the shoe.”

The prince looked dismayed. “But—“

“The proclamation was for any eligible young lady, correct?” Prue pointed out.

“Yes, but…that is, I thought—“

“Well, then.” Prue sat neatly on a nearby ottoman and lifted her dainty foot.
The herald looked at the prince. The prince looked at his counselors. The counselors shook their heads.

The herald sighed.

“As you say, miss.” He knelt in front of Prue and motioned for an aide carrying a small wooden box to come near. Opening the box, the aide produced a glittering glass shoe and held it out to the herald.

Martha sucked in a sharp breath. The shoe was shaped like a delicate slipper, with a tiny heel and a small ruby inset at the toe. If there had been any doubt in her mind about the ownership of the shoe before, it was now dispelled. This was her mother’s treasure, the work of a great artist.

The herald took Prue’s little foot in his hand and gently removed her every-day slipper. One could see at a glance that the girl’s foot would be too small for the shoe.

There was a small sigh—whether of disappointment or relief, Martha couldn’t tell—when the shoe proved too large for Prue. Casting a worried glance upstairs, Martha slowly sank into a chair.

“My turn, I suppose,” she said.

The herald shrugged. “All eligible young ladies,” he repeated. Martha felt awkward and clumsy as he carefully untied her sensible shoes and pulled the left one from her foot.

The herald gingerly glided the glass shoe onto her foot.

It fit—as though it had been molded to her measurements.

The herald started, his eyes meeting Martha’s in horror. She suddenly realized what had happened—the shoe was supposed to fit Ellen alone! Now she—Martha, levelheaded Martha—would have to marry the prince!

“Ow!” she cried, with a panicked burst of inspiration. “Ow—it pinches my toes. I could hardly walk in this, let alone dance!” She held her breath, praying that they’d believe her.

The herald’s face relaxed, and he gave her a tiny nod of respect. Withdrawing the shoe, he stood.

“Are there any other young ladies in the house?” he asked officiously.
Martha finished re-tying her shoe, taking the opportunity of bending over to blink away a few tears of anxiety.

“Yes…” Prue answered in a concerned tone. “But—“

“But nothing!” a bell-like voice rang out.

Martha sighed gladly at Ellen’s voice. The sigh turned into a gasp, however, when she caught site of her step-sister in the doorway.

If anything, Ellen looked worse than before. She and her mother had obviously tried to wipe away the ash; but they had only succeeded in smearing large black streaks into the dress and across Ellen’s face. She looked as though she had been rolling in filth.

“Who is that?” demanded one of the counselors.

Martha grinned. “Oh,” she said with a grin, knowing that Ellen would be mortified. “That’s our scullery maid, Cinders.”

The prince went pale, but quickly recovered. “She must try the shoe,” he ordered.

Martha put up a hand. “Wait—“ she said, not wanting Ellen’s ash to smear the lovely furnishings of the parlor.

The prince interrupted. “Stay out of this, girl,” he said pompously. “The proclamation states that every eligible young lady must try the shoe, does it not?”

She gave up. “Of course, Your Highness.”

Ellen flounced down on a golden settee, and Martha winced. They’d never get all the soot off that…

Quickly, the herald knelt in front of Ellen and raised her—conveniently bare—foot. Claudia’s glass shoe fit beautifully; though not as well as it had fit Martha.

“It fits!” the herald proclaimed. “We have found our princess!”

Martha and Prue gave each other glances of pure relief and smiled.

Re: Weekly writers challenge
Posted by: Faerie Watcher (IP Logged)
Date: July 28, 2011 09:56PM

I like it, Trav!





A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people- Thomas Mann




My writing blog: [aspiringpen.blogspot.com]

Re: Weekly writers challenge
Posted by: Galadriel II (IP Logged)
Date: July 30, 2011 12:39PM

I like it. Funny, it a way, but still good.



President and Founder of Twilight is Overrated Club
The Traveler as Vice President
Current Members: Galadriel, Trav,Eberwolf, Aljeron12, Sulmandir, vareth in silico
Purl, LovelornLark, Mindarin, Anna-Light Warrior, Caeli

There are three rules of writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
— W. Somerset Maugham

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